Hi friends💜!
As a dear friend reminded me, love always wins over fear! So in the midst of this chaos of life, this month I have been intentionally trying to connect to that love every day and send it to you!
And invariably, when I connect to that intense feeling of love, the ache rises. Often in different places in my body and in different ways in my heart.
It has taken many years for me to learn to sit with it, however painful. Until five or six years ago, I would do everything in my power to attempt to push the pain, discomfort, sadness and anger away.
Looking outside myself for remedy.
What a disaster!!!
Turns out that when I began to sit with the pain, it has become my greatest teacher. The ache lighting the path, showing me where I must focus my energy internally to heal.
I have had chronic muscle tension and pain in my right hip and leg for years. I come from a family of strong women who just keep going, no matter what! But finally, I honored the pain this month and sought out help. Through forces beyond me, I found a massage therapist who was interested in voice lessons, along with a trusted chiropractor of some of my clients. Turns out my hips are drastically misaligned and without attention, I could have had irreversible damage and need back surgery. I am so grateful that I finally honored the ache!
Sitting on my porch on a Sunday morning with a sharp back pain that makes one a little weak in the knees, these words poured out:
Ascending
descending
stretching within.
A mountaintop in the
midst of a cave,
but the pressure of gravity
fighting the compulsion to fly
is meeting in the middle
colliding
to a pressure point.
Penetrating
pain
at the root.
The source.
Maybe the motivation
of the big bang
was pain.
Light trapped --
encased like a mummy --
until the torture
of holding it back
could no longer
be contained.
Or is the ache radiating
because the container holding
the darkness and light
is too weak?
Maybe what is needed is not
an explosion
but
a fortification?
To die is to be completely
at peace with the
body and soul,
going deep deep down
and into the clouds
at the same time.
Until that moment
our body and soul are stretched
both upwards
and downwards.
Forces colliding in wonder.
Suffering, love, grief,
gratitude, sorrow, and joy.
A chaos of unending colors and shades
flickering in our minds and bodies.
When we sit still
with the pain,
maybe wonders
explode
growing like a
mighty redwood,
so majestic
tall
and wise.
Veins blood red,
throbbing of
life eternal.
After I finished, not quite sure of what I wrote, I went inside and a long voice message was waiting for me from a dear friend who was in truly debilitating pain from chemotherapy. As I read it back to her, the power of its appropriateness to the moment astounded me.
This was not a coincidence, nor something I could have manifested on my own. I believe that every encounter, whether brief, life-long, loving or fierce, has a purpose and weaves into the tapestry of our being.
I am beyond grateful for your presence in my life.
We are all intimately a part of one another and yet intimately and singularly unique. This, to me, is the essence of the great sacredness within and beyond us all. Here I am sharing a first draft recording of my very human attempt to capture the uncapturable:
RBG!
What has been all consuming for me this month is the short rehearsal process to bring the one-act opera Scalia/Ginsburg to life. What an honor and deep reverent challenge to give voice to RBG!
Here is a woman who listened to the ache and used that pain to fuel her passionate work. RBG changed the way the world is for American woman and relieved that agony for future generations.
Ruth's mother was the smartest person Ruth knew, yet her mother had to go to work after high school to fund her brother's college education. Her mother had to quit work when she got married and her husband was not a very successful businessman. But, before she died of cancer when Ruth was in high school, she had surreptitiously saved enough money in five different bank accounts to send Ruth to college.
Ruth then faced extreme discrimination in college and at law school. Her husband was a year ahead of her at Harvard Law and got very sick with testicular cancer during his second year. Ruth managed to help her husband complete his studies, often till 2am, before setting in on her own. She said that was when she learned she could function on two hours of sleep on weekdays.
After all of this, when she graduated at the top of her class, no one would hire her because she was a woman. She continued to face deep challenges her whole career as she fought to slowly change laws that discriminated on the basis of sex. Clinton called her at midnight to notify of her appointment to Supreme Court the day before the ceremony in the Rose Garden, leaving no time for anyone to censure Ruth's remarks.
"The announcement the President just made is significant, I believe, because it contributes to the end of the days when women, at least half of the talent pool in our society, appear in high places only as one-at-a-time performers...
I have a last thank-you, It is to my mother, Celia Amster Bader, the bravest and strongest person I have known, who was taken from me much too soon. I pray that I may be all that she would have been had she lived in an age when women could aspire and achieve and daughters are cherished as much as sons."
With these remarks, Bill Clinton was wiping a tear from his cheek. Ruth was able to carry her mother's memory before the country and even help a man defy gender stereotypes.
As a young girl in music class, Ruth's teacher was cruel and told her to mouth the words and not sing. And although her biggest dream was to be "a great operatic diva", she would only sing in the shower and in her dreams.
RBG made it possible for me to have a voice, and so I humbly dedicate my notes to her legacy.
We stand on the shoulders of those who go before us and slowly heal generation by generation, unfolding in a powerful tapestry.
"There is work to be done, and we must do it full steam." RBG
If you are local, I would be honored if you could come see the show. Performances are Thurs-Sunday Sept 5-8, and 12-15 in downtown Iowa City. https://riversidetheatre.org/scaliaginsburg/
And/or if you are interested in learning more, this book was wonderful!
Vocal Empowerment Workshop!
Saturday October 5th (9am to noon)!
If you are local I invite you to what I know will be an incredible event. I am offering for the first time a Vocal Empowerment Workshop. Discover the healing art of singing and the power of the voice! For non-singers and singers both! We will spend a morning in community exploring the potential of our unique voices and find joy and confidence with our instruments. Then we will explore vocal meditation and learn some tools and lift our voices in song to access, honor, and release our emotions. It will be held at Riverside Theatre in downtown IC.
This is the beginning of much more to come which will be developed for online with the community I am building. Hopefully, by the end of the fall, the online community will be launched which will incorporate a monthly gathering centered around empowering our voices!
Thank you so much for giving of your precious time to read this! And, by all means, if this email feels like clutter to you, the unsubscribe button is at the bottom.
May you honor your ache and have the courage to follow where it leads. I am sending strength for your journey!
💜Mary Jane
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$20.00
I Have A Voice, SATB Choral Octavo
This is an empowering anthem perfect for a high school, community, or church choir. The music is accessible with two... Read more |
